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Totally Made Up Tales


Jan 20, 2017

After a couple of word at a time shorts, we begin with the first of our Tales of Orange (a second will follow in episode 12). Then, we join Freddie as he embarks on a difficult adventure in The Capture of the Elements.

Music: Creepy — Bensound.com.

 

Andrew:    Here are some Totally Made Up Tales brought to you by the magic of the internet.
James:    Make.
Andrew:    Cinema.
James:    Interesting.
Andrew:    By.
James:    Jumping.
Andrew:    Through.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Screen.
James:    And.
Andrew:    Joining.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Action.

James:    Like.
Andrew:    Me.
James:    Because.
Andrew:    I.
James:    Am.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Lovely
Andrew:    Person.
James:    Don't.
Andrew:    Trust.
James:    Me.
Andrew:    Because.
James:    I.
Andrew:    Am.
James:    A.
Andrew:    Liar.

James:    Maria.
Andrew:    Was.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Queen.
James:    Of.
Andrew:    Spain.
James:    She.
Andrew:    Ruled.
James:    Wisely.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Fairly.
Andrew:    Because.
James:    She.
Andrew:    Was.
James:    Catholic.
Andrew:    Her.
James:    Husband.
Andrew:    Was.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Duke.
James:    Of.
Andrew:    Aragon.
James:    And.
Andrew:    He.
James:    Rode.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Fine.
Andrew:    White.
James:    Horse.
Andrew:    Whenever.
James:    He.
Andrew:    Came.
James:    Home.
Andrew:    He.
James:    Would.
Andrew:    Immediately.
James:    Get.
Andrew:    Off.
James:    His.
Andrew:    Horse.
James:    And.
Andrew:    Go.
James:    To.
Andrew:    His.
James:    Wife.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Present.
Andrew:    Her.
James:    With.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Fresh.
Andrew:    Orange.
James:    She.
Andrew:    Would.
James:    Bite.
Andrew:    Into.
James:    Its.
Andrew:    Delicious.
James:    Succulent.
Andrew:    Flesh.
James:    And.
Andrew:    Thank.
James:    Him.
Andrew:    With.
James:    A.
Andrew:    Kiss.
James:    One.
Andrew:    Day.
James:    He.
Andrew:    Could.
James:    Not.
Andrew:    Get.
James:    Any.
Andrew:    Oranges.
James:    He.
Andrew:    Asked.
James:    Around.
Andrew:    And.
James:    There.
Andrew:    Were.
James:    None.
Andrew:    He.
James:    Rode.
Andrew:    Home.
James:    Despondent.
Andrew:    Until.
James:    He.
Andrew:    Encountered.
James:    A.
Andrew:    Man.
James:    Pushing.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Cart.
Andrew:    Of.
James:    Oranges.
Andrew:    Hoy!
James:    He.
Andrew:    Said.
James:    To.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Man.
Andrew:    How.
James:    Much.
Andrew:    Are.
James:    Those.
Andrew:    Oranges.
James:    Well.
Andrew:    Said.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Man.
James:    I.
Andrew:    Am.
James:    A.
Andrew:    Poor.
James:    Man.
Andrew:    And.
James:    These.
Andrew:    Are.
James:    My.
Andrew:    Lucky.
James:    Oranges.
Andrew:    They.
James:    Are.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Only.
Andrew:    Thing.
James:    That.
Andrew:    I.
James:    Possess.
Andrew:    So
James:    The.
Andrew:    Duke.
James:    Promised.
Andrew:    To.
James:    Pay.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Fair.
Andrew:    Price.
James:    For.
Andrew:    Them.
James:    I.
Andrew:    Cannot.
James:    Accept.
Andrew:    Any.
James:    Payment.
Andrew:    For.
James:    These.
Andrew:    Oranges.
James:    In.
Andrew:    Money.
James:    Said.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Man.
Andrew:    Whose.
James:    Name.
Andrew:    Was.
James:    Miguel.
Andrew:    If.
James:    You.
Andrew:    Wish.
James:    To.
Andrew:    Take.
James:    These.
Andrew:    Oranges.
James:    You.
Andrew:    Must.
James:    Offer.
Andrew:    Me.
James:    Something.
Andrew:    More.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Duke.
James:    Offered.
Andrew:    Himself.
James:    Very.
Andrew:    Well.
James:    Said.
Andrew:    Miguel.
James:    Here.
Andrew:    Are.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Oranges.
James:    And.
Andrew:    I.
James:    Will.
Andrew:    Come.
James:    In.
Andrew:    Ten.
James:    Years.
Andrew:    To.
James:    Claim.
Andrew:    You.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Duke.
James:    Took.
Andrew:    Them.
James:    Home.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Presented.
Andrew:    Them.
James:    To.
Andrew:    His.
James:    Wife.
Andrew:    Who.
James:    Was.
Andrew:    Delighted.
James:    With.
Andrew:    Them.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Most.
James:    Delicious.
Andrew:    She.
James:    Had.
Andrew:    Ever.
James:    Tasted.
Andrew:    Time.
James:    Passed.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Couple.
Andrew:    Aged.
James:    Gracefully.
Andrew:    As.
James:    Their.
Andrew:    Power.
James:    Grew.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Their.
Andrew:    Children.
James:    Also.
Andrew:    Ten.
James:    Years.
Andrew:    Had.
James:    Passed.
Andrew:    And.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Orange.
James:    Seller.
Andrew:    Miguel.
James:    Had.
Andrew:    Returned.
James:    Walking.
Andrew:    Into.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Palace.
James:    He.
Andrew:    Demanded.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Right.
James:    To.
Andrew:    Speak.
James:    With.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Duke.
Andrew:    At.
James:    Length.
Andrew:    He.
James:    Was.
Andrew:    Admitted.
James:    To.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Throne.
Andrew:    Room.
James:    Where.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Full.
Andrew:    Crowd.
James:    Had.
Andrew:    Assembled.
James:    To.
Andrew:    Have.
James:    Lunch.
Andrew:    Each.
James:    Table.
Andrew:    Was.
James:    Filled.
Andrew:    With.
James:    Oranges.
Andrew:    He.
James:    Picked.
Andrew:    One.
James:    Up.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Immediately.
Andrew:    Threw.
James:    It.
Andrew:    At.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Duke.
James:    I.
Andrew:    Claim.
James:    You!
Andrew:    He.
James:    Said.
Andrew:    All.
James:    The.
Andrew:    People.
James:    Went.
Andrew:    Berserk.
James:    Throwing.
Andrew:    Oranges.
James:    At.
Andrew:    Each.
James:    Other.
Andrew:    And.
James:    At.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Queen.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Her.
Andrew:    Husband.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Guards.
James:    Attempted.
Andrew:    To.
James:    Control.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Scene.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Failed.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Duke.
Andrew:    Called.
James:    To.
Andrew:    Miguel.
James:    I.
Andrew:    Will.
James:    Come.
Andrew:    To.
James:    You.
Andrew:    And.
James:    Rising.
Andrew:    From.
James:    His.
Andrew:    Seat.
James:    He.
Andrew:    Made.
James:    His.
Andrew:    Way.
James:    Through.
Andrew:    The.
James:    Throng.
Andrew:    Outside.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Duke.
James:    Mounted.
Andrew:    His.
James:    Beautiful.
Andrew:    Horse.
James:    While.
Andrew:    He.
James:    Had.
Andrew:    A.
James:    Bay.
Andrew:    Settled.
James:    For.
Andrew:    Miguel.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Two.
James:    Of.
Andrew:    Them.
James:    Rode.
Andrew:    Out.
James:    Through.
Andrew:    The.
James:    City.
Andrew:    To.
James:    Never.
Andrew:    Return.
James:    The.
Andrew:    Queen.
James:    Never.
Andrew:    Ate.
James:    An.
Andrew:    Orange.
James:    Again.

Andrew:    And now, The Capture of the Elements.
James:    Once upon a time, not so very long ago, there lived a young man in a village by the sea.
Andrew:    He had dreams of being a successful fisherman.
James:    Every day he would go down to the pier and watch the fishing boats leave on the morning tide. And then he returned to his house where he made pots for the other people within the village.
Andrew:    He was too young to go out in a boat himself and had not been taken on as an apprentice by any of the fisherman because his family were considered cursed.
James:    One morning, having watched the fishing fleet go off over the horizon, he returned home to start work on a particularly big pot for the village's wizard.
Andrew:    The wizard had come to him several days before with a specification that he had written by hand for the very particular dimensions, shape, material and colour of a pot that he wanted to have made.
James:    At this point, Freddie was just finishing off the rim of the pot at which point it would be complete.
Andrew:    There came a knock at the door. It was the wizard at the appointed hour ready to pick up his pot.
James:    "Is my pot ready?" said the wizard.
Andrew:    "Yes, it's ready. Here it is. I've just finished this very second. Your timing is perfect."
James:    "Excellent," said the wizard, and took the pot promising to return later with payment.
Andrew:    Freddie waited several days patiently to be paid by the wizard who, he assumed, was a man of his word. He was an honest man of good standing. But the wizard did not return.
James:    And so, after a week had passed, at the end of a morning of making mugs for the local worthies, he ventured across the village to where the wizard lived.
Andrew:    He knocked on the door and the knock echoed through the wizard's house but there was no answer. Being curious, he peeked in through the window.
James:    He saw vaguely through the grimy glass, a shape moving about. It was too indistinct for him to see if it was up it was a wizard or perhaps, one of his familiars.
Andrew:    He was apprehensive but concerned for the well-being of the wizard. Although he was a magical man, he was still elderly and could easily have been injured. Tentatively he pushed the door open.
James:    With a disquieting squeak, the door swung open, revealing a dreadful scene within.
Andrew:    Furniture was overturned, there were scorch marks on the ceiling, water all over the floor, the whole place looked as if a storm had raged through it from one side to the other with thunder and lightning.
James:    Over by the fireplace, a figure lay on the floor, a robe thrown over it.
Andrew:    Freddie immediately made his way over to inspect the fallen man. It was indeed the wizard and yes, he was still breathing.
James:    Before he was able to pick up the wizard and take him out of the house, a voice called to him from across the room.
Andrew:    "Do not be afraid, young man. He is quite well, the faint will soon pass." said the voice.
James:    Freddie looked over and saw a shadowy figure, standing by the stairs.
Andrew:    "Oh — I only came because of the ...", he said, pointing at the pot.
James:    "You were wondering who I am," said the figure stepping forward into the dim light of the remains of the fire. "I have been brought forth from your cauldron. You may call me, if you must, Thunder."
Andrew:    "In order to rouse your friend. You, young man, must come with me. We must gather up the other forces of the elements and come together once again in order to reanimate the man who summoned us."
James:    And so, Freddie reached out his hand to Thunder. And although Thunder's hand was insubstantial, somehow he grasped it, and around them the world started to dim.
Andrew:    The very next instant, it seemed to Freddie he looked around and he was miles above the boiling ocean in the midst of a billowing dark electrical cloud.
James:    Tossed around by the waves and wind was a small fishing boat that Freddie recognise had sailed out with the fleet that morning.
Andrew:    It was one that he knew from his own village and he could see that the men on board, although they we're experienced sailors was struggling to keep control of it in the midst of the mighty storm.
James:    "Behold," rumbled Thunder in his ear, "the power of Wind…"
Andrew:    And at that moment, a fierce gust rushed past Freddie's face. It was as if he had had sand paper dragged across his skin, so great was the force of the Wind.
James:    "How do we capture it?" asked Freddie.
Andrew:    "Ah ..." said Thunder. "That is the challenge that you must complete. Here. Take this," he said.
James:    Freddie reached out his hand and discovered that placed in it was a canvas bag, about the size of a turtle. He looked at it, and he looked down at the churning sea below, and felt the Wind on his cheek, and saw the boat buffeted by the waves and the wind.
Andrew:    "But how do I capture the Wind in the bag?" thought Freddie. "It must be possible in some way." He opened the neck of the bag and held it out into the oncoming gust and then suddenly whoosh!
James:    Freddie struggled with the bag, which wriggled and danced, as if it had a wild animal inside.
Andrew:    It was like wrestling a giant throwing him this way, and that way, tossing him devil may care around the sky.
James:    From one horizon to the other, Freddie was blown and thrown, as he attempted to get Wind under control.
Andrew:    He realised that length, that brute force alone would be no match for the mighty Wind, and that he would somehow have to outsmart it in order to encase it back in his bag.
James:    Freddie remembered the song that his mother used to sing to him when he was a child, about the great battles of the beginning of time between the elements. Opening the back he filled his lungs with the Wind, and began to sing.
Andrew:    The song was a beautiful tale about Time and the Universe and his children, and as the wild Wind came from the bag, entered his body, and left as the sweet, well arranged music, it calmed. It became peaceful, it ceased to struggle. He was no longer throw this way or that, but found himself with a well-filled bag that he was able to pull the drawstrings off and tightly seal.
James:    Below he could see the boat no longer buffeted by the wind but, damaged from the storm, was under threat from the waves and the rain of going under anyway.
Andrew:    The water seemed to suddenly double in intensity. It was if there were sea above and below, as down, down, down came the torrential torrents of rain from the sky. Suddenly, Freddie realised that the next magical spirit must be that of the Rain.
James:    He turned to Thunder who handed him another item.
Andrew:    It was a large, dark, green bottle. The glass so dark has to be nearly opaque. It was the sort of bottle that you would expect to find lying on a beach with a message coiled up inside from some distant land saying, "Help me."
James:    Cradling the bottle in one arm, Freddie carefully worked out the cork and then thought, "How am I going to get Rain inside?"
Andrew:    He could see easily enough how he could get some Rain inside. He should surely just turn the bottle to the sky… and so he did.
James:    As he did, the Rain continued to pour down some of it moving into the bottle. Which started to fill up.
Andrew:    Fill up and then overflow. Then suddenly, Freddie found himself underwater. It was as if a fountain had erupted from the neck of the bottle and was rapidly filling up the whole of the world.
James:    Freddie had grown up next to the sea and was a strong swimmer and yet with the water all around him, he began to panic. Unable to breathe, unable to see clearly, he desperately held on to the bottle and, forgotten in his other hand, the cork.
Andrew:    His limbs thrashed wildly through the encroaching dark and cold of the water. He forgot everything that he had ever known about how to stay safe in the sea, if in one of its sudden changes of moods, it grabs you and drags you.
James:    As he started to lose consciousness, floating in the water that was filling up the world, the voice of Thunder sounded in his ear.
Andrew:    "Do not fight the water," said Thunder in his deep resonant voice. "Be the water. Float and find your way to the surface."
James:    With the last vestiges of his consciousness and the dying remains of his strength, Freddie kicked upwards seeking the surface of the rapidly rising tide.
Andrew:    So tossed and turned that he been underwater that he really wasn't sure entirely any more which way was up… when suddenly it occurred to him, surely the cork would float. If he released the cork, he would only have to follow that.
James:    Letting go of the cork with one hand, he saw it rising away from him and kicked once, twice to follow it to the surface.
Andrew:    Spluttering, he emerged the air, immediately grabbing the cork, and thrusting it into the neck of the bottle, sealing Rain tightly inside.
James:    Floating exhausted on the now calm sea, he handed the bottle back to Thunder.
Andrew:    "Only one spirit remains" boomed Thunder. "The final and most dangerous spirit of all that of Lighting."
James:    And as his rumbling voice said the word, the sky lit up as Lightning forked down towards the mass of the ship.
Andrew:    It struck with an almighty crack, split the tall mast of the ship clean in two, and the two halves fell from other side and crashed into the deck and the sea beyond.
James:    Thunder held out a third item to Freddie.
Andrew:    It was a finely polished, ornately framed mirror.
James:    As he took the mirror from Thunder, Freddie noticed the flickering in the heavens above. As Lightning gathered and prepared to dance down, he looked at the mirror in his hand, and then flung it out to capture the Lightning as it arched down from the sky.
Andrew:    The next thing he knew, Freddie awoke and found that he was lying on the stone floor of the wizard's cottage.
James:    The wizard, no longer unconscious on the floor, bent over him, his face filled with concern.
Andrew:    "Here," he said, "drink this." and pressed a cup of water to his lips.
James:    Later the wizard asked Freddie to recount his adventures, and as he did the wizard's face filled with respect.
Andrew:    "You, young man have a gift for magic. I would like to take you on as my apprentice and lead you on a journey in a magical life. Will you join me?"
James:    Freddie eagerly assented.
Andrew:    "Wonderful," said the wizard. "Return home at once and get a good night's sleep."
James:    As Freddie walked back from the wizard's house across the village filled with voices of the returning fishermen, he heard rumbling in the distance a solitary note of Thunder.
Andrew:    I'm Andrew and I'm here with James. These stories were recorded without advanced planning and then lightly edited for the discerning listener. Join us next time for more Totally Made Up Tales.
Andrew:    Suspicious.
James:    People.
Andrew:    Hang.
James:    Their.
Andrew:    Hats.
James:    On.
Andrew:    Suspicious.
James:    Hatstands. They live in suspicious houses, they eat suspicious bread.
Andrew:    Lovely.