Sep 2, 2016
Our fourth episode of Totally Made Up Tales, with more tales of wonder and mystery. Spread the word! Tell a friend!
Music: Creepy – Bensound.com.
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Andrew: |
Here are some totally made up tales. Brought to you by the magic of the internet.
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James: |
One
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Andrew: |
Day
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James: |
Elise
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Andrew: |
Held
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James: |
Her
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Andrew: |
Boyfriend
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James: |
Tightly
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Whispered
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Andrew: |
That
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James: |
She
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Andrew: |
Was
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James: |
Pregnant.
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Andrew: |
He
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James: |
Was
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Andrew: |
Surprised
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James: |
But
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Andrew: |
Delighted.
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James: |
Together
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Andrew: |
They
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James: |
Planned
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Andrew: |
For
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James: |
A
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Andrew: |
Home
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James: |
That
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Andrew: |
Would
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James: |
Welcome
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
New
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Andrew: |
Life.
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James: |
Painting
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Nursery
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Andrew: |
In
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James: |
Bright
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Andrew: |
Green
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James: |
With
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Andrew: |
Some
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James: |
Dinosaurs
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Andrew: |
On
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
Walls.
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James: |
Building
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
Crib
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Andrew: |
Out
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James: |
Of
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Andrew: |
Ikea
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James: |
And
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Andrew: |
Reading
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James: |
To
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Andrew: |
Each
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James: |
Other
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Day
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Andrew: |
Of
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James: |
Delivery
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Andrew: |
Arrived
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James: |
And
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Andrew: |
They
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James: |
Took
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Andrew: |
Elise
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James: |
To
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Hospital,
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Andrew: |
Where
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James: |
She
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Andrew: |
Gave
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James: |
Birth
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Andrew: |
To
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James: |
A
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Andrew: |
Healthy
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James: |
Baby
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Andrew: |
Dinosaur
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
End.
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James: |
This is the story of the Gamekeeper's Family.
Once upon a time, not so very long ago, there lived a couple in a wood.
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Andrew: |
The husband was a gamekeeper at the local estate.
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James: |
His wife was a housekeeper for the same.
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Andrew: |
They had lived in their little cottage very happily for the last fifteen years.
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James: |
But ... they longed for a child.
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Andrew: |
They had tried many things, been to doctors, healers and priests but without success.
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James: |
They had traveled the world looking for witches that might be able to cure their barrenness, but all in vain.
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Andrew: |
After many years of searching and hoping, they had resigned themselves to their situation and were content to mind the children of their neighbours and fellow workers.
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James: |
But one day, as the gamekeeper walked home through the forest paths, he came across a basket.
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Attached to the basket was a note, read, “please take care of me” and inside wrapped up in blankets there was a tiny baby.
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He rushed home to his wife to show her what he had found.
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Andrew: |
They spent a long time discussing whether or not it would be right for them to keep this child. Who had left it there and why?
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Eventually, they chose to consult the local vicar who assured them that with all of their experience helping to look after their neighbours' children and given that almost everyone else in the village already had children of their own, the right thing would be for them to keep it and raise it as their own.
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This they did, with great success and a fine healthy young man was the product of their labours.
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They had named him Benjamin, after the wife's father and as Benjamin grew in stature, he also grew in the love given to him, not only by them but by others in the village. For everyone enjoyed his outgoing and pleasant company.
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Andrew: |
As the years passed the time came for him to take over his father's job as gamekeeper on the estate and this he did.
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He had spent his childhood growing up amongst the forest and knew how to look for the different types of woodland animal and also how to protect them. How best to defend them from poachers and so forth. And so, continuing the charm of his childhood as he started his job, he proved to be more than adept as a gamekeeper and was rapidly promoted until he became head gamekeeper.
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After many years, his parents passed away in a peaceful old age and he moved back to the cottage where he had grown up.
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By this time, he was himself, married, although as with his parents, he and his wife Amelia, had not been able to have a child.
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Andrew: |
One day, while out walking in the estate, completing his rounds and jobs, Benjamin too came across a basket with a note attached.
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James: |
The note, as the note on his own basket, said “please take care of me” and inside was a tiny child that he took home to Amelia and which as with his parents before him, they decided it was right to adopt.
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Andrew: |
Now, the listener will not know that Benjamin's parents had not chosen to share with him the story of how they had found him in a cradle in the woods. And so, it did not occur to him that there was anything unusual about this coincidence.
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James: |
As Benjamin and Amelia's daughter, Susanna, grew, she also, much like Benjamin was much loved around the village and when it came time for her to start working, she took over Amelia's job as housekeeper, as Amelia had taken over the job of Benjamin's mother before her.
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Andrew: |
And so it was that this story played out from generation to generation. Susanna had a son named Robert. Robert had a daughter named Barbara. Barbara had a son named Tom.
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James: |
And always, down through the generations, the same jobs were passed from father to daughter, from daughter to son, across the generations, gamekeeper and housekeeper both.
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Andrew: |
But why? Why was it that these popular, lovable, outgoing people were never able to have children of their own? And where was it that the mysterious foundlings were coming from?
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James: |
For that, dear listener, we must go back to the first gamekeeper and housekeeper, Benjamin's parents, and see their story from another angle.
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Andrew: |
Once upon a time there was a magical forest where there dwelled many sprites and pixies.
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James: |
Chief among them was a fairy who had lived for many hundreds of years, spending her time looking after the non-magical creatures of the kingdom.
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Andrew: |
Now, many fairies have an ambiguous and complicated relationship with human beings, seeing them somewhat like a tree sees a fungus growing on its bark.
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James: |
At times, the fairy would help humans through stumbling difficulties in their lives, but at other times she would punish them for what she saw as a transgression against the magical forest.
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Andrew: |
She was, to our eyes, capricious in her whims. Sometimes kind, sometimes cruel.
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James: |
One day, the gamekeeper, while walking home through the forest spied a rogue pheasant which had somehow escaped from, as he thought, the forest that he managed.
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Andrew: |
What appeared to be a pheasant to his eyes, was in fact the fairy, wandering through her domain.
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James: |
He carefully set a trap and as she did not consider him a threat, she walked right into it and was quickly bound and trussed with him carrying her home towards the pot.
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Andrew: |
He was not by nature a sentimental person, having spent his life working with the wild animals of the forest. But, there was something about the way this bird fixed him with a seemingly knowing stare as he set it down on the kitchen table that made him think twice about instantly wringing its neck.
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James: |
In the moment that he hesitated, the fairy, as fairies sometimes do, cast a spell, not only for her to be released and free but also so that he would forget having ever encountered her. And, as fairies are also sometimes wont to do, she cursed him at that moment, annoyed and upset that she had ignominiously been bound and walked over the forest. She cursed him that he should never have a child to love him.
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Andrew: |
Sometime later, the fairy observed his wife walking through the forest and weeping and lamenting her lack of children.
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James: |
Unaware that this woman was in any way related to the gamekeeper she had previously cursed, she cast a beneficial spell over the housekeeper that she would have a child that she so clearly desired.
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Andrew: |
The child of course, was easy to provide for fairy folk often have children which they need to be raised in the human world.
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James: |
And no one ever questioned from Benjamin through Susanna, through Robert, through Barbara, through Tom, why, when their feet touched the ground in the forest, flowers grew in their footsteps.
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Andrew: |
And from generation to generation, they continued to live, in the small charming cottage in the middle of the wonderful magical wood.
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James: |
Sally
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Andrew: |
Held
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James: |
Her
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Andrew: |
Handbag
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James: |
Defensively
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Andrew: |
When
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
Mugger
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James: |
Threatened
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Andrew: |
Her
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James: |
With
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
Knife.
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Andrew: |
She
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James: |
Balanced
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Andrew: |
On
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
Balls
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James: |
Of
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Andrew: |
Her
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James: |
Feet
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Lashed
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Andrew: |
Out
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James: |
With
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Andrew: |
Her
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James: |
Handbag
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Andrew: |
Knocking
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James: |
Him
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Andrew: |
Over
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James: |
And
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Andrew: |
Giving
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James: |
Her
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Chance
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Andrew: |
To
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James: |
Escape.
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Andrew: |
She
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James: |
Reported
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Incident
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Andrew: |
To
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
Police
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James: |
Who
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Andrew: |
Promptly
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James: |
Ignored
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Andrew: |
Her
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James: |
And
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Andrew: |
Carried
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James: |
On
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Andrew: |
Filling
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James: |
In
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Andrew: |
Paperwork.
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
End.
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James: |
Our next story is Jeremy's Place.
One
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Andrew: |
Day
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James: |
Jeremy
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Andrew: |
Was
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James: |
Walking
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Andrew: |
Along
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
High
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James: |
Street
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Andrew: |
When
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James: |
He
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Andrew: |
Noticed
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James: |
That
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Shops
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Andrew: |
Were
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James: |
All
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Andrew: |
Closed.
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James: |
In
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Andrew: |
Normal
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James: |
Times
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Andrew: |
They
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James: |
Would
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Andrew: |
Be
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James: |
Open
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Andrew: |
On
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James: |
Fridays
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Andrew: |
But
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James: |
Today
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Andrew: |
They
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James: |
Were
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Andrew: |
Not
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James: |
“Hmmm?”
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Andrew: |
He
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James: |
Thought
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Andrew: |
“Is
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James: |
There
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
Special
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Andrew: |
Occasion?
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James: |
Perhaps
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Andrew: |
It's
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James: |
Remembrance
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Andrew: |
Day?
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James: |
But
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Andrew: |
That
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James: |
Is
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Andrew: |
Always
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James: |
On
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
Sunday.”
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Andrew: |
So
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James: |
He
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Andrew: |
Knocked
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James: |
On
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Door
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Andrew: |
Of
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
Post
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James: |
Office
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Waited
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Andrew: |
For
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James: |
Someone
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Andrew: |
To
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James: |
Open
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Andrew: |
It.
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James: |
Waited
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Waited
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Andrew: |
Then
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James: |
Waited
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Andrew: |
Some
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James: |
More.
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Andrew: |
He
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James: |
Gave
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Putative
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Andrew: |
Post-mistress
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James: |
Half
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Andrew: |
An
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James: |
Hour
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
She
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Andrew: |
Didn't
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James: |
Appear.
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Andrew: |
So
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James: |
He
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Andrew: |
Pushed
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James: |
And
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Door
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Andrew: |
Opened.
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James: |
“Funny,”
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Andrew: |
He
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James: |
Thought
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Stepped
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Andrew: |
Inside.
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James: |
Inside
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Andrew: |
There
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James: |
Was
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Andrew: |
No
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James: |
Light.
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Andrew: |
In
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
Space
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James: |
Reserved
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Andrew: |
For
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James: |
Packages,
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Andrew: |
There
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James: |
Was
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
Small
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Andrew: |
Dog.
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James: |
“Strange,”
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Andrew: |
He
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James: |
Thought,
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Approached.
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Dog
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Andrew: |
Looked
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James: |
At
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Andrew: |
Him
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James: |
And
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Andrew: |
Opened
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James: |
His
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Andrew: |
Mouth.
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James: |
“Why
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Andrew: |
Are
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James: |
You
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Andrew: |
Here?”
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James: |
Asked
|
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Dog
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Andrew: |
“I
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James: |
Want
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Andrew: |
To
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James: |
Know
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Andrew: |
What's
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James: |
Going
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Andrew: |
On?”
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James: |
Said
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Andrew: |
Jeremy.
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James: |
“This
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Andrew: |
Is
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James: |
Not
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Andrew: |
A
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James: |
Place
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Andrew: |
For
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James: |
You.”
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Andrew: |
Said
|
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James: |
The
|
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Andrew: |
Dog
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|
James: |
“Where
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Andrew: |
Am
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James: |
I?”
|
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Andrew: |
“You
|
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James: |
Are
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Andrew: |
In
|
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James: |
The
|
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Andrew: |
Seventh
|
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James: |
Kingdom.”
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Andrew: |
Jeremy
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James: |
Backed
|
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Andrew: |
Away
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James: |
From
|
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Andrew: |
The
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James: |
Dog
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Andrew: |
And
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James: |
Fled.
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Andrew: |
Once
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James: |
Outside
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Andrew: |
He
|
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James: |
Started
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Andrew: |
To
|
|
James: |
Calm
|
|
Andrew: |
Down
|
|
James: |
Again.
|
|
Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Convinced
|
|
Andrew: |
Himself
|
|
James: |
That
|
|
Andrew: |
Nothing
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James: |
Strange
|
|
Andrew: |
Had
|
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James: |
Happened
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Andrew: |
To
|
|
James: |
Him
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Proceeded
|
|
Andrew: |
To
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James: |
Walk
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Andrew: |
Down
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James: |
The
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Andrew: |
High
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|
James: |
Street
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
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James: |
Knocked
|
|
Andrew: |
On
|
|
James: |
The
|
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Andrew: |
Door
|
|
James: |
Of
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Butchers.
|
|
Andrew: |
Again
|
|
James: |
There
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
No
|
|
Andrew: |
Reply
|
|
James: |
So
|
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Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Pushed
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
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James: |
Door
|
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Andrew: |
Open
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
Stepped
|
|
James: |
Inside.
|
|
Andrew: |
Within,
|
|
James: |
There
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
No
|
|
Andrew: |
Light.
|
|
James: |
In
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Area
|
|
Andrew: |
Where
|
|
James: |
Meat
|
|
Andrew: |
Would
|
|
James: |
Be
|
|
Andrew: |
Chilled
|
|
James: |
There
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
Another
|
|
Andrew: |
Dog.
|
|
James: |
“What
|
|
Andrew: |
Are
|
|
James: |
You
|
|
Andrew: |
Doing
|
|
James: |
Here?”
|
|
Andrew: |
Said
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Dog.
|
|
James: |
“I'm
|
|
Andrew: |
Just…”
|
|
James: |
“No!”
|
|
Andrew: |
Said
|
|
James: |
The
|
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Andrew: |
Dog.
|
|
James: |
“This
|
|
Andrew: |
Is
|
|
James: |
Not
|
|
Andrew: |
A
|
|
James: |
Place
|
|
Andrew: |
For
|
|
James: |
You!”
|
|
Andrew: |
Jeremy
|
|
James: |
Looked
|
|
Andrew: |
Confused.
|
|
James: |
“Where
|
|
Andrew: |
Am
|
|
James: |
I?”
|
|
Andrew: |
“Go!
|
|
James: |
This
|
|
Andrew: |
Is
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Kingdom.
|
|
James: |
You
|
|
Andrew: |
Must
|
|
James: |
Leave.”
|
|
Andrew: |
Jeremy
|
|
James: |
Backed
|
|
Andrew: |
Away
|
|
James: |
From
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Dog
|
|
Andrew: |
Into
|
|
James: |
The
|
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Andrew: |
Doorway,
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
Stepped
|
|
James: |
Back
|
|
Andrew: |
Onto
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
High
|
|
James: |
Street.
|
|
Andrew: |
Now
|
|
James: |
He
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
Having
|
|
Andrew: |
Second
|
|
James: |
Thoughts
|
|
Andrew: |
About
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Shopping
|
|
James: |
Trip
|
|
Andrew: |
That
|
|
James: |
He
|
|
Andrew: |
Had
|
|
James: |
Planned
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Walked
|
|
Andrew: |
Back
|
|
James: |
Towards
|
|
Andrew: |
Home.
|
|
James: |
Passing
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Police
|
|
Andrew: |
Station,
|
|
James: |
He
|
|
Andrew: |
Went
|
|
James: |
To
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Door
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Knocked.
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Door
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
Not
|
|
Andrew: |
Locked,
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
So
|
|
James: |
He
|
|
Andrew: |
Went
|
|
James: |
Inside.
|
|
Andrew: |
Within,
|
|
James: |
There
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
No
|
|
Andrew: |
Light.
|
|
James: |
In
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Cells
|
|
Andrew: |
Where
|
|
James: |
Prisoners
|
|
Andrew: |
Usually
|
|
James: |
Resided,
|
|
Andrew: |
There
|
|
James: |
Was
|
|
Andrew: |
A
|
|
James: |
Third
|
|
Andrew: |
Dog.
|
|
James: |
“Seriously!”
|
|
Andrew: |
Said
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Dog.
|
|
James: |
“What
|
|
Andrew: |
Are
|
|
James: |
You
|
|
Andrew: |
Doing
|
|
James: |
Here?”
|
|
Andrew: |
Jeremy
|
|
James: |
Panicked
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Ran
|
|
Andrew: |
At
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Dog.
|
|
James: |
“Give
|
|
Andrew: |
Me
|
|
James: |
Back
|
|
Andrew: |
My
|
|
James: |
Place!”
|
|
Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Exclaimed.
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Dog
|
|
Andrew: |
Jumped
|
|
James: |
Sideways
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Avoided
|
|
Andrew: |
Jeremy's
|
|
James: |
Grasping,
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Replied,
|
|
Andrew: |
“This
|
|
James: |
Is
|
|
Andrew: |
Your
|
|
James: |
Place
|
|
Andrew: |
Here.”
|
|
James: |
Slamming
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Cell
|
|
Andrew: |
Door
|
|
James: |
Shut,
|
|
Andrew: |
Jeremy
|
|
James: |
Collapsed
|
|
Andrew: |
Into
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Corner
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
Slept.
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Next
|
|
James: |
Day
|
|
Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Awoke
|
|
Andrew: |
In
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Cell
|
|
James: |
To
|
|
Andrew: |
Discover
|
|
James: |
Three
|
|
Andrew: |
Policemen
|
|
James: |
Looking
|
|
Andrew: |
At
|
|
James: |
Him
|
|
Andrew: |
In
|
|
James: |
Confusion.
|
|
Andrew: |
“What's
|
|
James: |
All
|
|
Andrew: |
This
|
|
James: |
Then?”
|
|
Andrew: |
They
|
|
James: |
Said
|
|
Andrew: |
In
|
|
James: |
Unison.
|
|
Andrew: |
Jeremy
|
|
James: |
Stumbled
|
|
Andrew: |
Out
|
|
James: |
Into
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Open
|
|
Andrew: |
Air
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
Saw
|
|
James: |
That
|
|
Andrew: |
Things
|
|
James: |
Were
|
|
Andrew: |
Back
|
|
James: |
To
|
|
Andrew: |
Normal.
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
Post
|
|
James: |
Office
|
|
Andrew: |
Was
|
|
James: |
Open,
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
Butchers
|
|
Andrew: |
Had
|
|
James: |
Customers,
|
|
Andrew: |
The
|
|
James: |
High
|
|
Andrew: |
Street
|
|
James: |
Was
|
|
Andrew: |
Bustling.
|
|
James: |
“What
|
|
Andrew: |
Happened
|
|
James: |
Yesterday?”
|
|
Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Thought
|
|
Andrew: |
As
|
|
James: |
He
|
|
Andrew: |
Opened
|
|
James: |
His
|
|
Andrew: |
Front
|
|
James: |
Door.
|
|
Andrew: |
“I
|
|
James: |
Swore
|
|
Andrew: |
I…”
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
In
|
|
James: |
Front
|
|
Andrew: |
Of
|
|
James: |
Him
|
|
Andrew: |
Were
|
|
James: |
Three
|
|
Andrew: |
Dogs.
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
End.
|
|
James: |
Peter
|
|
Andrew: |
Liked
|
|
James: |
Jam
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Toast.
|
|
Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Regularly
|
|
Andrew: |
Ate
|
|
James: |
Ten
|
|
Andrew: |
Slices
|
|
James: |
Of
|
|
Andrew: |
Them
|
|
James: |
For
|
|
Andrew: |
Breakfast.
|
|
James: |
His
|
|
Andrew: |
Constitution
|
|
James: |
Was
|
|
Andrew: |
As
|
|
James: |
Solid
|
|
Andrew: |
As
|
|
James: |
A
|
|
Andrew: |
House.
|
|
James: |
One
|
|
Andrew: |
Day
|
|
James: |
He
|
|
Andrew: |
Ran
|
|
James: |
Out
|
|
Andrew: |
Of
|
|
James: |
Jam
|
|
Andrew: |
And
|
|
James: |
Had
|
|
Andrew: |
To
|
|
James: |
Use
|
|
Andrew: |
Marmite
|
|
James: |
Instead.
|
|
Andrew: |
This
|
|
James: |
Gummed
|
|
Andrew: |
His
|
|
James: |
Works
|
|
Andrew: |
Up
|
|
James: |
And
|
|
Andrew: |
He
|
|
James: |
Slowly
|
|
Andrew: |
Died.
|
|
James: |
The
|
|
Andrew: |
End.
I've been Andrew, and I'm here with James. These stories were recorded without advanced planning and then lightly edited for the discerning listener. Join us next time for more totally made-up tales ...
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