Dec 22, 2016
This episode we have two stories. Carlos and his Wife make a difficult journey. Meanwhile, the Lonely Skunk lives a troubled life in the forest.
Music: Creepy — Bensound.com.
Andrew: Here
are some Totally Made Up Tales, brought to you by the magic of the
internet.
We begin this
week with Carlos and His Wife.
Andrew & James
(alternating)
Carlos went to
town and bought a new cart. He wanted to take his bride to visit
his grandmother, so he hitched the new cart to a horse which he had
borrowed especially from his brother and lifted his beautiful new
bride into the back. Climbing onto the driver's seat, he whipped
the horse and they raced off.
Along the
mountain path, there lived a troll. He exacted a toll on every cart
that passed his house. Approaching the bend in his cart, Carlos
slowed and prepared to face the troll. "Who goes there?" said the
troll traditionally. "It is one simple man and his wife. We wish to
visit our grandmother. Please let us pass, o troll!" The troll
scratched his hairy head and responded with the riddle as is
traditional.
"You are a stalk
and I am a long tongue. Which animal is your wife?"
Carlos fell into
a fitful silence as he attempted to unravel the riddle. A small
time later, his wife spoke quietly to him. "Could it be
a…"
James: There will
now follow a short pause while we figure out what our riddle means.
The troll is a long tongue, right… and the man is a stalk of some
description.
Andrew: Okay, a
stalk of… yeah. A stalk of corn or a stalk of grass…
James: The long
tongue reaches out and tries to get the stalk. That's what the
troll does. That's a metaphor for those two… which means the wife
can be anything, which means the wife can choose to be… what eats
frogs? Frogs have long tongues, right?
Andrew & James
(alternating)
"Could it be a
bird of prey?" Carlos's face lit up, "Yes, this is exactly what it
should be." He turned to the troll and realised that the troll had
vanished.
Continuing their
journey along the road, Carlos enjoyed the feeling of the victor.
The next bend brought them face to face with an ogre. "Stop," he
growled and demanded a sacrifice. "Something you cannot do
without," he said. Carlos looked down at the cart and his horse and
thought about which of these he could give freely. "Why not just
give him the air in your lungs?" Carlos once more applauded his
wife and breathed deeply over the ogre. The ogre disappeared and
they continued on their road.
As the village
where his grandmother lived came into sight, another monster
stepped onto the path. It was a dragon, breathing fire and
grumbling like a railway engine. "I am hungry," said the dragon. "I
demand food or your life." Once more, Carlos was perplexed. How
could he feed a dragon without sacrificing his horse?" His wife had
another idea. "Could we feed him the straw from the wagon?" "Do
dragons eat straw?" asked Carlos. "Well, let's find out," said his
wife. So they pushed some straw in the direction of the dragon and
waited. The dragon sniffed the bale suspiciously and took a small
nibble from the corner. It tasted odd, like a smoky kind of grass.
The dragon took another bite. Smoke definitely made things more
palatable. He wolfed it down and belched. "You have passed my
test," said the dragon and as he let them past, he crept into his
cave.
Driving into the
village, Carlos and his wife were delighted to have made it safely.
His grandmother lived at a crossroads just off the main square.
Knocking on her door, Carlos was excited to present his wife, and
feast with his family. The door swung open. Within, there was a
dark gloom and a light in the fireplace. Sitting in a chair next to
the fire was Carlos's grandmother. "Come closer my child," she
said, crooking her finger and beckoning him. He knelt beside her
chair and recounted the arduous journey they had undertaken to
visit her. "Ah," she said. "This journey has been a lesson to you.
When there are obstacles to be overcome, you must work with your
wife together and so you shall triumph. You will seek many
challenges and your wife will fix them for you. Don't take the
support for granted." "Yes," said Carlos. "Not on any account."
"Ohhhh," said his grandmother. "You have no idea."
On the way home,
they took a different route, were attacked by a bear and Carlos's
wife killed it with her slingshot. The end.
Andrew: This is
the story of the lonely skunk.
James: Once upon a
time, there lived all sorts of creatures in the forest. There were
shrews and mice that scuffled and scurried through the undergrowth.
There were rabbits and hares that bounded along the pathways and
tracks through the trees, and badgers snuffling through their sets
and sniffing out their prey.
Andrew: There were
many animals that lived in the forest each with their own different
personalities, but one animal more than any other was regarded as
an outcast and was looked down upon by both people and
beasts.
James: The skunk
did not lead a happy life.
Andrew: Everywhere
he went he only wanted to make friends and yet his pungent aroma
drove all away from him.
James: Over time,
he'd learned that he would not be welcomed at the little gatherings
in the glades of the forest, that he would not be greeted cheerily
if he passed another animal on a track or path, and that he would
not be at all welcome indeed if he turned up at the home of another
animal, and so over the years, he had learned to keep very much to
himself.
Andrew: As a
consequence, the skunk was lonely. He felt the loneliness deep
inside his black and white fur. He was surrounded by evidence of
the lives of other animals all the time, and yet somehow, it was as
if he existed in a bubble which excluded them from him so
completely that it could never be crossed.
James: Until one
day, he met a frog.
Andrew: It was a
bright and misty autumn day and the skunk was wandering along, lost
in his own thoughts as usual, meditatively wondering about the
changing of the seasons, and he did not see the frog until he very
nearly stepped on it.
James: "I beg your
pardon," said the skunk, preparing to scurry away as he expected
that the frog would immediately make some comment or rather about
the stench that always followed him about the forest.
Andrew: But the
frog made no such comment. In fact, he made no reply at all and
only looked blankly at the skunk who repeated himself what thinking
that the other had not heard him.
James: "I beg your
pardon," said the skunk again and this time, the frog looked at him
and said very quietly, "The apology is mine."
Andrew: The skunk
was taken aback by the gentle politeness of the frog's demeanour
and inquired of him further the meaning of his words.
James: "I merely
meant," said the frog, "that I was sitting here so quiet and so
indistinguishable from the leaves around me that it would be
altogether too easy to step upon me and I must apologise for that.
I could have chosen a rock to sit on or indeed a branch, somewhere
that would have left me less vulnerable to those going about their
regular business."
Andrew: The skunk
was speechless to be addressed. This was the longest sentence that
another animal had directed at him for some years and he was
puzzled as to why it was that the frog was not repulsed by him in
the way that so many other creatures were.
James: So he
asked, "Do you not have a problem with my standing here and talking
to you?"
Andrew: "Why
should I have such a problem with a passing conversation with a
fellow animal?" said the frog.
James: "I merely
meant," said the skunk, "that so many people find me an unappealing
conversationalist for whatever reason." He was beginning to doubt
that the frog could smell him at all.
Andrew: "But you
seem such a polite and friendly gentleman, how could anybody object
to passing the time of day with such a cultured
individual?"
James: At this,
the skunk broke into a broad smile. "Well, that is very kind of you
to say, sir."
Andrew: "And now,
I must, please, beg your pardon for I have pressed long enough
already on your time and I myself certainly have many things which
I must be doing," said the frog. "Good day to you and I hope to
speak to you again on another occasion," saying which he hopped
off.
James: Cheered,
the skunk went about his way and that night, rather than as was his
usual custom to bed down early and thus attempt to sleep through
the depression of the night, he instead stayed up and thought about
his conversation with the frog and recounted to himself the other
events of the day so that he would remember them freshly for such a
conversation.
Andrew: The next
day as the skunk woke in the bright morning light, he hoped, once
again, that he would meet his new friend, the frog, while
traversing the forest.
James: Making his
happy way through the ponds and tracks of the forest, he did not,
at first, meet the frog, but did run into a number of other
animals. First, a rabbit crossed his path.
Andrew: As usual,
the rabbit took one look at him, made a sneering remark about the
smell, and hopped off contemptuously into the
undergrowth.
James: Next, at a
watering hole deep within the heart of the forest, he came across a
snake.
Andrew: The snake
hissed at him, protested, and chased him off from the water saying
that it wasn't for the likes of him.
James: Finally,
near an old lighting-struck bole deep within the forest, he met a
weasel.
Andrew: The weasel
too was contemptuous and pelted the poor skunk with bits of twigs
and acorns, chasing him off and jeering him as he retreated hurt as
much in spirit as in body.
James: Plodding
back towards his home, the skunk was not in a happy
place.
Andrew: The
contrast of the previous days elation could not have been more
bitter to him. After years of resigning himself to lonely
isolation, he had finally had a sense of what it would be like to
be befriended by another animal only to have it snatched away from
him.
James: He slept
that night through the dark hours, shivering, and very much
alone.
Andrew: At last,
he found himself in the arms of sleep and strange dreams crossed to
the screen of his mind.
James: First,
there was the rabbit that he had encountered that morning, but now,
instead of running away from him, the rabbit welcomed him with open
paws.
Andrew: Next,
there was the snake waiting by the watering hole who this time
allowed him to drink his fill of water and pass the time of day
pleasantly.
James: Finally,
there was the weasel, who instead of pelting him with nuts and
acorns, instead offered to share his bounty.
Andrew: And
finally after these there charming encounters, he met his new
friend, the frog, on the way home and they talked of many
things.
James: The skunk
woke once more happy and optimistic about the day ahead.
Andrew: He set out
along the forest part of the spring in his step determined to find
the frog and to seek his counsel on the curious dream that he had
had.
James: He tried
first along the central paths and roads keeping out of others' way
but looking carefully for the frog and when he did not find him
there, he tried the watering holes one by one and finally, he
started working through the outskirts of the forest, the perimeter
where it bled off into grasslands. And there, he found the
frog.
Andrew: The frog
was sitting on a log at the edge of the forest contentedly
ribbiting, breathing in and out, and looking down across the slope
of the field to the river at the bottom.
James: "What ho,
frog?" said the skunk.
Andrew: The frog
looked round, "Ah, it is my friend, the skunk," he said. "And how
are you on this wonderful autumnal day?"
James: The skunk
explained that although the previous day had been very upsetting,
he had had a curious dream with positivity and delightful
conversation and was wondering if the frog had any idea what it
might mean.
Andrew: "Ah," said
the frog, "dreams are a mysterious thing. Sometimes they tell us
the truth. Sometimes they tell us the opposite. On this occasion, I
wonder."
James: "But what
should I do? I cannot see myself having such wonderful interactions
with other creatures in the forest and yet, that is the thing I
desire most," said the skunk.
Andrew: "Ah," said
the frog, "It is a difficult question, is it not? I myself wish
that I could stay here and pass conversation with you every day,
but alas, I must make my way down to the river and then back home
for my animal holiday is going to an end."
James: "What do
you mean?" asked the skunk who was not really aware of there being
animal or creatures beyond the forest at all.
Andrew: "Well, I
mean," said the frog, "that I must return home. I must go back to
the river and then turn right along it and there I will find the
other frogs, the newts, the water rats who are my friends and
acquaintances.
James: The skunk
was quite taken aback. The idea of creatures living in a riverbank
rather than in the welcoming forest was utterly alien to him and
yet, also intriguing.
Andrew: "Do you
think," said the skunk, "do you think that I might come with you to
this riverbank? Do you think that some of your friends and
acquaintances might be more welcoming to me than the animals of the
forest?"
James: "Well,"
said the frog, "I cannot see why not. My frog and toad friends are
most gentle and gracious creatures and the voles that live in the
riverbank just next to me are some of the friendliest creatures I
have ever had the pleasure to get acquainted with."
Andrew: "Shall we
make our way there now?" said the skunk, hoping that he was not
being too presumptuous.
James: "I think
perhaps we should," said the frog and hopped onto the skunk's back.
"If I'm not being too presumptuous as to ask for a
ride."
Andrew: Off they
set, skunk and frog together, strolling down towards the river,
passing the time in pleasant conversation.
I'm Andrew and
I'm here with James. These stories were recorded without advanced
planning and then lightly edited for the discerning listener. Join
us next time for More Totally Made Up Tales.